10 Random Thoughts About the Lance Armstrong Confessions:
1. I am too manly to watch the Oprah Network. I went to Geva yesterday to see a musical.
2. I confess to be under the influence of Utica Club when I got the courage to approach Eileen in 1974.
3. Was Lance’s confession sponsored by 5 Hour Energy, Cialis, or Dewars?
4. I admit that before my 6,786 finish in the 2003 Boston Marathon I had a cup of coffee.
5. I believe Lance was innocent all along and is faking his cheating for publicity.
6. I think my doctor use PED’s during his internship.
7. From 1968 to 1974 all my girlfriends were imaginary.
8. If Lance confessed to Oprah, who does a guy like me confess to? The editor of the Suburban News?
9. I bullied Mike. Twice I lied to him before races and said “yes, those shorts make your butt look big.”
10. I feel so much better after coming clean. Now I can start lying with a clean slate.
Mike Weinpress
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