Lessons Learned

This week was amazing! I learned so many new things in sports and life it's hard to keep track of them all.

1. Madison Kyle Bumgarner, nicknamed "Mad Bum," will go down in history as one of the greatest pitchers ever (World Series MVP winner for San Francisco Giants). My guess is the NY Yankees will sign him in about six years for $250 million. This date will coincide when Mad Bum's arm will be dead.
2. I absolutely love running in the fall season in upstate NY. This fall has been particularly wonderful weather; little rain, averaging 45-60 degrees, no allergy issues.
3. It's far better to drink 70 proof SoCo than 100 proof, at least if you don't want to quickly become a weeble-wobble.
4. Work can be extremely stressful. I'm tired of that phenomena. Every change that was to occur over the summer, before school began, has happened from the first week of school and is continuing.
5. My goal Race With Grace 10k pace, the annual Thanksgiving Day pre-feast calorie burner, is slower than what many of my marathon pace races used to be. I know I'm older, slower etc, but it's still hard to adapt to the change. It could be worse, I could be injured and not running. 
6. I only have to work twelve days between November 3-December 15. This will help greatly with number four above, and maybe save me some money on number three. 
7. It's sad that shoulder surgery seems like a good alternative to work.
8. The time change is tomorrow night. It will be lighter in the morning and darker at night. I don't like running at 5:30am much, but at 5pm it will be dark. It's a conundrum.
9. As I write this blog article it is October 31. In four days I don't have to read or listen to any more political ads.
10. Jan and I are on a new nutrition plan. I do about 70% of the cooking. It's hard to break my habit of casseroles, bread, pasta and fat. I don't know what to cook anymore. A meal without bacon? Without potatoes? Only one glass of wine every couple of days? This is a tough adjustment.

Texting, Sexting, Embarrassing

There is an ass in the word embarrassing for a reason. When did texting take over our society? Cell phone usage in the United States really didn't take hold until the 2000s. In 1992 less than 10 million Americans owned a cell phone, in 2013 91% of Americans owned a cell phone.
I was behind the curve, only getting my cell about four years ago when we dropped our land line. I still have the same phone, an old LG that texts and makes phone calls, that's it.
Sometimes I miss my old wall phone with the 10 foot cord. What an advancement that was, being able to sit on a living room chair and talk on a phone located in the kitchen!

There were/are advantages to everyone only having land lines;
1. No motor vehicle accidents were ever caused by talking or texting on the phone.
2 People didn't walk into me at the grocery store, work or school because they were playing Candy Crush.
3. I never accidentally sent a text to my daughter that was meant for my wife.
4. Webster's Dictionary didn't take up space including the words cell phone, cellular, texting, sexting or mobile phones.
5. Friends didn't include me in their family text "conversations".
6. No one tried to steal your wall phone when you were walking down the street.
7. My identity couldn't be stolen if someone gained access to my land line phone.
8. What will happen to all the trees if we don't cut them down for telephone poles? Do we really want all those forests untouched?
9. My monthly phone bill was about $200 less.
10. The old rotary phones are much more stylish and could match any decor. Who doesn't love the old green 1970's phone?

And for a bonus:
11. My running shorts or shirts didn't have to be designed to carry a 2x4" electronic device! I was free to just go for a run!

Desperately Seeking Roots!

Over the past several decades my visits to the dentist have involved nothing more than cleanings and x-rays. It has been 10 years since I had any real dental work done, and that was replacing a cavity, which came about 12 years after my last one cavity was filled. I've been lucky. My luck runs out today as I go in for my first root canal.
Root canal is not an endearing term. I think if dentists changed the name, people like me, virgin rootists, wouldn't be so nervous about the procedure. Maybe call it "a cleansing rinse", or"tooth purification" or "gum massage"?

Ten things to think about during a root canal procedure;
1. Can I run a couple of hours later? (yes, but I didn't)
2. Will blood be oozing out for the next day? (no)
3. What if I have to go to the bathroom when all those instruments and suction devices are stuck in my mouth? (I did, it was embarrassing). But I was in the chair for 2.5 hours!
4. It costs how much? Are you kidding?
5. Why is a dentists' six minutes equivalent to twelve in real time?
6.What happened to the rinse and spit spittoon? Now they have a suction device the size of a horseshoe that stays in your mouth and takes the fluids away. It was a bit cumbersome, the first time the assistant put it in my mouth I thought I was choking to death. Seems breathing through your nose is key.
7. Is my old silver filling worth money?
8. Do the drills have to be so noisy? It's like listening to road workers dig up old pavement with big machinery!
9. When did dental assistants begin to look like high schoolers?
10. Why does my new crown have to be tinted to look like the other coffee stained teeth? Can't I have one white tooth?

Under The Knife

Health-wise I have been pretty lucky over the years. My first and only surgery was a tonsillectomy 53 years ago when I was four years old. Incredibly I remember a great deal about the event. My grandmother gave me a small stuffed beagle type dog that I named Bela to accompany me to the hospital. A girl in the shared hospital room cried a lot when she got some shot before surgery. My Mom told me not to cry when I got mine, so I didn't, though it seemed like a huge needle they stuck in my buttocks! I remember being wheeled to the operating room and then eating lots of ice cream after recovery.

On December 2nd I am having my shoulder operated on. Evidently there is scar tissue and quite possibly tears on my labrum from the fall I took while running trails in Alabama during late May.

 

Mike W. warned me some things have changed a bit since my last surgery.

 

Top 10 Surgery Things That Have Changed Over the Last 53 Years

1.       Stuffed animals are no longer allowed in the operating rooms. (I actually still have Bela)

2.       Recovery is 20 minutes and you’re discharged compared to 1 week staying in the room 53 years ago.

3.       The doctors look like they are 15.

4.       The nurses look like they don’t want to look at you.

5.       If you cry you don’t get nearly as much sympathy.

6.       Not as understanding about “accidents”.

7.       The surgical gowns seem a lot smaller.

8.       You care about how this is going to be paid for.

9.       No clown or candy striper will visit you.

10.   You still may get ice cream, but you have to buy your own as you drive yourself to work the next day. (fortunately I'm off from work for 7-10 days as I am not allowed to drive or use the computer for typing).

When the Wife is Away

What activities should a man do while his wife is off visiting children in another state for a few days?
If you watch television he might be going to the local bar, eating sloppy meaty meals from a take-out restaurant, wearing the same undershirt everyday and/or drinking beer from a can while sitting on the back porch in his underwear and belching loudly.

Now if that same man has the initials MW, what do you think he is doing?

1. Babysitting three dogs, only one of which is his?
2. Watching Yankee rerun baseball games because he lost the remote control?
3. Counting his nightly nip of Scotch as a vegetable serving?
4. Sending text messages to random numbers on his phone?
5. Running twice a day to fill up his time since Eileen isn't there to tell him what else to do?
6. Using the same dishes for breakfast and dinner so he doesn't have to wash them? (all the food mixes together eventually anyhow, right?)
7. Wearing two different colored socks on two consecutive days, not realizing if he had switched them the colors would have matched?
8. Driving a different Subaru each day so he doesn't have to get gasoline?
9. Still sleeping on "his" side of the bed (with two dogs next to him and one at his feet)?
10. Setting his chronograph to count down to when to pick up Eileen from the airport, his smile getting bigger with every second that passes?