Banning Cell Phones?

Apparently some companies are banning the use of personal cell phones except for emergencies. Here are ten reasons Mike W's place of work might ban cell phones;


1. Mike’s cell phone is a replica of Jerry Seinfeld’s in the early 90’s episodes. His pants fall down whenever he hooks the phone to his belt buckle. This is really bad on those mornings he forgets to put on his underwear.

2. Mike disturbed his co-workers by walking the halls talking loudly to the pizza delivery guy every afternoon.

3. Mike’s cell phone ringtone for Eileen is KC and the Sunshine Band’s song “Get Down Tonight”, which is okay until he begins disco dancing in his cubicle every time she calls.

4. Mike got caught playing fantasy baseball on the cell during meetings.

5. Mike accidently left his phone inside one of his company’s spy satellites. The satellite crash landed in Russia when the phone disrupted some controls inside. The Russian Secret Service keeps calling Mike looking to buy more satellites.

6. Mike tried to text and walk down the hallway and knocked down his boss.

7. Mike’s Tweet followers outnumbered his company’s and they got upset. 4 followers?

8. In a cost-cutting move Mike’s company installed phone booths at the end of hallways and removed everyone’s desk phone and banned cell phones. Employees have to pay a quarter each time they make a call. The company’s stock shot up by .3 cents!

9. Mike keeps walking down the hall saying, “can you hear me now?” Coworkers all yell back, “of course we can, shut up”!! (from Lou)

10. Mike, ever the fashionista, kept comparing his cell phone cover to his co-workers. “Oh, aren’t these colors great?” “Where did you get that graphic?” “I like how that cover matches your shirt”. This was tolerated until his Powerpoint presentation at the last divisional meeting. Now all cell phones are banned.