Honey You Shrunk My Suit

As I write this it is early February, 15 inches of snow on the ground and for the first time since August I decided to go swimming. The pool at Monroe Community College is open MWF from 12-1. All the lanes were full today, but I got there a few minutes early and snagged one.

While changing in the locker room I noticed my tri swim suit was a bit tighter than I remember. It didn’t take much string to tighten around my waist. Pulling up the trunks over my thighs took a bit more effort. What did Jan do to my suit? It’s been sitting in the dresser drawer for five months. Jan must have washed my suit last August and shrunk it! Darn her.

As I sucked in my gut and draped my towel discreetly over my shoulders across my bulging belly I realized Jan may not have shrunk the suit. Hmmm. Maybe the wine/Bourbon/cookie desserts have to be cut back? Wait now, maybe a few extra pounds will help with flotation and my legs won’t sink?

Turns out that wasn’t true either. I swam like a porpoise for 175 yards before swallowing two gallons of water and coming up spewing like Mt. Etna (except water instead of lava). From then on it was 50 yards of swimming and 30 seconds of gasping.

Thankfully that is about how I left swimming in August, so at least my technique and conditioning haven’t deteriorated!