Saturday Jan and I were doing our regular swim at SUNY Brockport. The 5pm start time is nice. We get in a good swim and still can be home at a decent hour with our take-out pizza...I mean to cook a nice meal, get in our pj's, have a glass of wine (2 for Jan) and relax. It really works out well.
This past Saturday was the yearly Brockport State invitational wrestling tournament. Teams from all over the country come to compete, including many Division one schools. The coach at Brockport likes to put his kids up against the best. Generally this would not effect our swim in the least, in fact Jan and I had our own lanes and I swam 2300 yards, my longest since the season closed at Canandaigua Lake.
After the swim I went into the locker room for a quick shower and change to street clothes. My timing couldn't have been worse. Four shower stalls that can fit thirty-two athletes were filled with naked wrestlers. Not wanting to fight a crowd (or embarrassed at my 54 year old body?) I decided to wait on the shower until home. My locker, though, was in the midst of the Maryland University wrestling team. A bunch of twenty-year old, washboard abs, 3% body fat, testosterone laden athletes who had just come off the mats after wrestling all day.
Why should I feel bad though, right? I'm lean, have a tad of muscle, a good comb-over for hair, muffin topped belly abs and a wrinkled face. Yeah, I fit right in with this group. I was ready though, if any of them started making snide remarks about the old guy in the room. I'd just say, "that's right boys, you might look like super heroes now, but see this?", and I'd whip off my towel, "this is what you'll be in thirty years, if you're lucky!" Plus, I have a really big.....401k, and a fixed pension coming to me to boot, now try and match that! I can go home and eat 6 pieces of pizza, 2 glasses of Wild Turkey American Honey Bourbon and half a bag of chips while you have to eat carrots, celery and water to make weight for your next match. Hah!"
There are times being old does have advantages.
You go McMiddleageman! Not to mention your credit line on your 6 Visas and you can calculate the payments at 4.3 % of any car loan in 2 minutes. These dehydrated wrestlers probably don't even know how to do the "sleeper hold" or who Bruno Samartino is.
ReplyDeleteGood post. Also, the older you get, the more politically incorrect you get to be, which can be fun . Mad Dog Mane was my favorite!
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