Sharing a birthday with comedian Rodney Dangerfield is an honor. Here are a few one-liners you may enjoy.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
ok, next Saturday we load up on Rodney one liners for our run. "When I was a kid I got lost at the beach and asked a cop if he thought we could find my parents. He said, I don't know, there are so many places they could hide"!!! "At my house we pray after we eat". "I told my dentist my teeth were yellowing, what should I do? He said wear a brown tie"!!
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