Thoughts on Life

1. Is it really wrong to practice my freestyle swim stroke when walking around the library at work?

2. We aren't supposed to have a lot of contact with people due to the swine flu. My entire day is spent taking books, dvd's, handing out a bathroom key (yucky) and people breathing/sneezing/coughing on me at the Reference desk. Guess I should retire?

3. Why did New York citizens spend 1.5 billion dollars on Yankee stadium, yet the outfield walls are in too close and one of the tunnels to the field help push the balls further, thus increasing home runs.
Too bad this doesn't seem to help the home team win.

4. Why am I watching more baseball on tv than Lou or Mike, and it's always the Yankees, and they seem to be losing a lot?

5. I really don't like biking into the wind, downhill, and having to pedal just as hard as going up a hill. This doesn't seem fair.

6. We are supposed to drink 8 glasses of water a day, plus more fluids to offset dehydration from exercise. But if I pee many times a day (which I do), then the tv commercials tell me I need a drug because my friends will leave me behind in the bathroom and continue having fun without me. This makes me sad.
Well, it would make me sad, but most of my friends are long-distance athletes and always drinking and peeing. Sometimes they even find a tree or bush. We have a code; "Leave no pee-er behind".
Who needs drugs with friends like that?

7. Television also tells me I need a drug because I get up at night to pee. Yet I'm supposed to drink all these fluids that have a tendency to make me pee. This is quite a conundrum. If I can't pee so much during the day, I can't pee at night, when exactly am I supposed to relieve myself?
I think the stop-pee drug makers and the bottled water distributors are in business together or it's a government conspiracy.

8. Here's a joke. Two women walk into a bike store. Let's call them Jan and Eileen and the bike store can be named Full Moon Vista.

Jan and Eileen walk into Full Moon Vista during a Women's Only Sales Event. Credit cards in hands, husbands at home, no kids. Jan and Eileen get to ride bikes costing double or triple what they now own. Hmmm. The ladies like the bikes, a lot, what a surprise, the bikes weigh about the same as a chocolate cupcake with vanilla icing. They want to buy the bikes. There is the good angel on their left shoulder, the devil on the right shoulder. What should they do? Hmmm.

Well, we really don't know what they are going to do, time will tell. Where's the punchline? I forgot to write one because this is no joke. Full Moon Vista knows how to market.