Lou A Buffalo Bill?

Sals runner Lou K. has announced his retirement from the real world of work. This change won't take effect for awhile, but we need to have plans in place for Lou's transition to a life of leisure. I see the Buffalo Bills needing Lou to quarterback the team next season. Why? Well, there are ten reasons of course:
1. Lou has the Ryan Fitzpatrick look-alike beard going for him, what Bills fan among us doesn't long for the days of Ryan?

2. Lou will be retired and have plenty of time to travel with the team

3. Lou has his passport and can play the “home” game in Toronto

4. Last year the Bills paid QB Tavaris Jackson over $1 million to not get dressed for games and hold a clipboard. Lou will do this for $500k, a bargain.

5. Lou is a local phenom and will be great for ticket sales

6. He will be a father figure to the Buffalo Jills cheerleaders

7. Lou will get his friends/family a suite and limo rides to all home games (and one in Miami where the sun shines)

8. Lou may not be able to throw a pass like Brett Favre, but he can scramble in the backfield tiring out the fat defensive linemen, then hand the ball to Spiller

9. Lou is great at pumping up bike tires, the same skill can be used for all the footballs during training sessions

10. The Bills haven’t made playoffs in 12 years, do you really think having Lou as QB will ruin their season record?


Lou already commented on these facts, stating; " I can do the 40 in under 9 seconds and am deadly accurate passer to anyone within 6 feet. I will do all this just for #7 , plus free parking".