Glasses

With apologies to those who have had to wear contact lenses or glasses for the majority of their lives, here are the top ten things I hate about the eye doctor.

10. Those drops to dilate my eyes. I don't like things put into my eyes and I don't like not being able to see clearly for the next two hours.
9. The cost. New lenses and/or glasses are ridiculously expensive.
8. My eye doctor is a great guy, he even runs. But you leave his examining room and are led directly to a person who wants to sell lenses and frames. It's like being at Disney World, getting off a ride and having to go through a gift shop before you can leave.
7. Jan driving me home. I'm blinded by the sun and the eye drops and keep thinking she is going to hit other cars. Jan does not appreciate my helpful safe driving tips (slow down, speed up, watch out you're going to hit him!).
6. Picking out frames. No matter what style I choose I'm not going to look as hot as the people in the ads.
5. Contact lenses. I don't wear them and won't. Icky.
4. Corrective eye surgery. My vision problems can't be fixed by this, plus having someone cut or laser my corneas? Not likely.
3. Swimming in a lake. Is it hard to see the buoys because they are small, or because my vision is worse? I'm sure this is why I can't swim in a straight line.
2. I break glasses, a lot. My current reading glasses have bent frames, lenses that are scratched and kind of foggy. Jan thinks I'm worse than a kid, but I can't help it.
1. A visit to the eye doctor is a depressing reminder I am getting old. I grew up with great vision. Until the age of 40+ I could read tiny print, see street signs from a mile away and recognize people hundreds of yards away. Now I wear glasses when I have to drive and see signs, especially at night, wear glasses while watching television and when reading. I don't like it.