Curling = Bocce Ball on Ice

Really, the first five days of the Winter Olympics coverage spends more time on Curling than any other sport? There are people hurtling down mountains at breakneck speeds on skis, doing head over heel jumps on snowboards and riding a tiny sled under their butt cheeks at 95 mph and NBC shows Curling. It's not even a sport, it's equivalent to throwing darts at the local pub. It's similar to Bocce Ball which is played by anyone at any age. No offense to the woman below, who is obviously taking the game seriously, but c'mon, she has a walker. If she were curling she'd have a walker with skis attached.

When I used to play games of Bocce Ball with my in-laws and their friends at various campgrounds, I was taught one way to play. You need two coolers of beer and you set up so you go from cooler to cooler. That is the only way you'd ever see me out on the ice sweeping a "rock" around. I may even have to put a beer can holder on my broom so I could sweep and sip.
This morning I heard the IOC is considering adding some type of video gaming into the next Winter Olympics. Video Gaming!! WTF.

Top Ten Winter Olympics Thoughts

1.       Curling is not a sport. Bocce ball and curling are remarkably similar in format. During my long life I have played a lot of bocce ball, which always involved drinking alcohol. The only way I am curling is if a cooler of beer is at the start and finish. Admittedly I am pretty accomplished with a broom, according to Jan, so maybe a curling career awaits me?

2.       The USSR is anti-gay. Did they ever look at their curling team? Maybe the USSR is more inclusive than they are letting on.

3.       I get it. You can go down a half-pipe on snowboards or skis. Enough already, just choose one over the other.

4.       Slalom, giant slalom, some other slalom. Blue pole, red pole, these things hurt when they hit my face. I’ve been watching winter Olympics for 45 years and still don’t know one slalom race from another.

5.       Luge athletes are insane. Sure, I’ll lay on my back or stomach and plummet down a tube at 85 miles an hour. Right. How many drunk men and women did it take to come up with that idea?

6.       Ice dancing is NOT a sport. Some of you may find it “pretty” to watch, but a sport? I think not.       If you conduct an exhibition after your event, it is not a sport. When is the last time the Yankees won the World Series and then a couple of days later played a friendly match against a National League team? Did the Seahawks and Broncos play flag football after the Super Bowl? No. They are sports, ice skating is difficult, but not a sport.

7. I loved the snowboard races with 5-6 people in them going over jumps and down the steep mountain with all the curves. That was exciting to watch.

8.       Brothers and sisters should not be partners in ice dancing or skating. That is like going to the prom with a cousin. Some of those routines are supposed to be romantic, the USA brother and sister team was creepy.

9.       Someday I want to ride in the bobsled at Lake Placid.

10.   The USA media needed to stop bashing Sochi all the time. Like everything always goes perfect in Olympics held in America?